Questions

Some of the same questions are coming up in conversation over the last several days:

"What is the next step for you guys?"

"When are you going to get him?"

In the world of international adoption, there is a boatload of paperwork. You basically lay out your entire lives before perfect strangers and hope that they deem you worthy enough to be a parent (whether you already are one or not). Most of it is not a big deal and some of the questions can be more of a "you really want to know that?" kind of moment. Some of the questions feel downright intrusive. Especially when coming from a complete stranger. "Tell me what you and your spouse argue about." "What is your intimate life like with your spouse." Um...hello...none of your business, stranger. The best part is  - that's the very beginning. It's sort of an immediate baptism into adoption.

Now, we are surrounded by so many people that are also on the adoption journey. And if you've ever met anyone else headed down this road, you've probably heard them talk about all the paperwork and fingerprints and dossiers and waiting and - finally - a referral! Then they travel a month or two later to actually go and get their new child. In our situation, it's a little different. In Taiwan, they work off a pre-approval process. That means that once you complete your homestudy, you request to adopt a specific child and then you wait. And while you're waiting, you basically can't do anything. Our agency wouldn't even talk to us about what it's like to adopt internationally or let us go ahead and apply for our immigration paperwork. Quite frustrating to be honest. I understand why. If we had been denied the pre-approval then we would be starting over looking for another child and, in the meantime, dated documents in our homestudy would be expiring. Some of these documents are pretty expensive and they don't want you to have to update anything if you don't have to.  But to sit and wait when you know that, technically, you could be doing something isn't easy.

So...to sum the first question. This means that we still have a long way to go. Homestudy? Check. Pre-approval? Check. Applying for immigration documents and gathering other documents together for our dossier? Just starting.

Our case worker called a little over a week ago and let me know that we already have some items that are out of date so we are fixing that. Once all that is fixed, our immigration application should be complete and we can cross that off the list.

By now you can figure out the answer to the next question - when are you going to get him? Unfortunately, not anytime soon. It will likely be this time next year or just after that. That makes me sad. He'll be another year older. It's another year of him living in an orphanage. A good orphanage - but still. :/ Another birthday. Another Christmas. Another New Years. No one tucking him in bed at night. No one telling him about Jesus. No one sleeping in the same room that calls him "brother". No one that can hug him like his momma can. We will all survive and I have no doubt that even in the slowest of moments I will look back over the steps we've completed and feel like time has flown. But it will be awhile before we will travel to get him. Each step of the process takes "2-3 months". That includes translating our dossier into Mandarin and the 3 required court dates.

Regardless of anything above - I can't wait. I know his name. I know his face. I see his sweet smile everyday. I think about him and wonder what he's doing and I pray for him each night by name. I can send him letters or care packages if I want to. I think my favorite part is that he knows who I am too. He looks at my picture and tells people that I'm his mom. He has a photo album filled with pictures of us that he can look at anytime he wants. He knows he has a mom and a dad and two sisters and a brothers and two dogs and a fish waiting for him. Can't beat that. Really you can't.

They said yes!

Finally!! We got word on Friday that our pre-approval from the orphanage has come through and can continue with our adoption. I got goosebumps all over when I heard those sweet words. I was just stunned to be honest. I didn't know what to say when our case worker called. She got a big kick out of my reaction though. We talked for a couple of minutes. She told me the story and then we hung up. (Within the next 10 minutes I thought of about 20 questions that I needed to ask her and I think I probably sent 4 emails to her.) I called the hubs and told him the news, subsequently making him cry in front of his students. (Sorry babe!) :)
My heart and mind have been reeling since with all the things that need to be set into motion. So much to do...

I mailed our I-600A application yesterday. That should take 2-3 months to process. (We couldn't do this prior to pre-approval.)

Next we have our last homestudy visit to focus on the Taiwan part of things. This is also something that our agency doesn't complete until the pre-approval has come through.

Things we are praying about right now:
1 - For the sweet little boy waiting for us on the other side of "the pond". He knows who we are, has pictures, has seen videos and knows we are trying to come and get him. But he's still young ("older" by orphan standards though I guess) and can easily feel the sting of still being in an orphanage. I'm praying for not only the healing of his broken heart through the trauma he's dealt with but also that he will somehow understand that this process is not quick. And even though I would go get him next week if I could, my hands are tied. I know he's going to wonder why it takes so long. So do we! But praying that he will be protected by the hand of the Lord while we all wait.
2- I-600A papers get processed quickly.
2- Finances....we hear this from everyone so it's hard to put this down on "paper". We can't do this alone. Only the Lord will provide what we need. We are determined that we will not go into debt on this. Not because it's not worth it but because we don't believe that it's necessary. The flip side is that I don't see how we can do it without going into debt but the Lord has always provided just what we needed when we needed it so I'm trusting that He will continue to do that. I know that we have a hand in that as well and so we are praying for wisdom in what our part is in that.

19 week update

19 weeks. Almost 5 months. Longer than I expected.

A friend shared in our staff devotional this morning a reminder of God's sovereignty and the protection that lies within that.

His sovereignty means I can trust Him. When the ugliness of sin, strife, and struggle seems more than I can bear; when life deals me a bitter blow and my heart is crushed with pain; when everything seems out of control, I can anchor myself to His greatness. His sovereignty is my surety. I can rest in the knowledge that when all is said and done everything will be alright. His will make it so. His counsel will stand, and He will accomplish His purpose. He is sovereign. His is God.
--Knowing God By Name (don't know the author)

My situation wrenches me heart and it does not feel like it has any sort of order to it. I struggle daily with the silence and my flesh longs to be bitter about it. But I anchor myself to the One who knows Tai's every need and also knows the great longing we have to bring him home to our family.

He is sovereign.

I will trust.

1,827 days

That's how many days we've been waiting for a placement. I will be honest that most days it feels more like 1,827 years.

“But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance” 2 Peter 3: 8-9

I know that my wait is not about my repentance. However, I figured that if the Lord is not slow in His promise on the really important matters - like salvation - He won't forget the "little" stuff either.

Does my heart hurt? Yep.

Do I want to give up? Sometimes.

Do I want my child home? YES.

It's been over 12 weeks since we've submitted our request to the orphanage. They've asked lots of questions. We've sent them anything additional that they've asked for - including videos. And it's been over 6 weeks since we've heard from them. I want to continue to be hopeful but I can't say the silence isn't discouraging. I don't really understand what's going on there and how that is beneficial to everyone involved - including him.

This is part of the race that He's marked out for me. He never said it would be a short run. I just never imagined it would be a 100-mile "ultrarun". (An ultrarun is any unusually difficult running event, regardless of distance.)

Still choosing to trust and praying for some sound to break through this silence.  Please pray with me.

"Dear God, please let someone read our papers...."

That's what my son prayed last night as we sat down for dinner. It's official. We have applied for approval to adopt a specific child in Taiwan. This is something that we have been talking about and praying about for years. We discovered this little boy about 6 weeks ago and have been diligently working to get documents in order to send off and they were finally sent on Monday.

Confused? I understand.

"But - wait - haven't you been in this process for a long time?"
Heavens...yes.

"I didn't know you were adopting internationally."
Ha...neither did we. Remember that whole “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. (Isaiah 55)....it's pretty much been the theme of my life over the last 4-5 years and it just still continues to apply. 

Right now - we wait. Waiting is not easy. Waiting is not fun. But I am weary of feeling weary about how the Lord will finally knit our family together.  I wait with hope for what He is doing. 

"but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint."
-Isaiah 40:31